There Is No Such Thing As Self-Sabotage

by Kimberly Lorenz, BCPH CPHI

“Nothing will sabotage our happiness and success more thoroughly than the fear that we are not enough.” – Bill Crawford

There Is No Such Thing As Self-Sabotage

I see a lot of very well-meaning people give very bad advice in the coaching, mindset & motivational spaces of social media. It is unfortunate because when people take this information into their subconscious minds, it traps them there, and many times makes them believe that they are broken or incomplete. This leads them to feeling guilt, anger, and shame (the lowest and a totally unnecessary emotional vibration).

I want to help you set some misconceptions right and help you free yourself from the unnecessary shame, anger, and guilt you don’t need to be carrying!

What we typically mean when we say self-sabotage is that we are seeing a set of behaviors that get in the way of, or distract us and prevent us from reaching our goals. We believe a part of us is wanting to, and actively trying to stop us because it wants and desires to sabotage the healthy goals we have. Nothing could be further from the truth.

What is actually happening is we are outwardly observing the inner workings of the mind. We are seeing the subconscious and the conscious mind each with different goals, and each having different wants, needs and desires. The logical, analytical and conscious part of us wants good things, but the subconscious wants to keep us safe, out of pain, and sometimes those good things are judged by the subconscious to be too painful. So instead of doing what we say we want to do, we do something else. This is what is typically called self-sabotage.

What is misunderstood is the goal of the subconscious, it isn’t trying to inflict pain and frustration, it is trying to avoid a bigger, more “dangerous” pain. Its goal isn’t to hurt, but to help. It just doesn't know better. The subconscious is full of automatic thoughts, auto-pilot programs that run our life. It doesn’t want to change. And the subconscious mind is more powerful than the conscious mind, so it will almost always get its way.

The first lesson in understanding the subconscious and how to stop “self-sabotaging” is to realize there is no such thing. Then, to do the work to understand the deeper need of the subconscious mind to set it free of the fears, worries, shame and guilt it is trying to avoid.